There are many things in life that is just out of your control, right?
I am too uptight and stressed these days coz I still don't understand this piece of truth.
I try to control too much, but things just take time and things just go wrong. That's life.
For things that I have control with, I have no excuse to not doing them. I cannot just be lazy and then whine about things not happening, right? I should also use less 'should' / 'cannot' since that stresses me out. I need a more lay back approach to life. Things usually work out at the end too. That's life.
'That's life'-->it's so short, yet it is so true, and cruel. And beautiful.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
My favorite films...
I have to write them down before I forgot:
Easy Rider (1969)
Midnight Cowboy (1969)
Dirty Harry (1971)
Bullit (1968)
I should really look into that era, that special and charismatic like ever before era...
Easy Rider (1969)
Midnight Cowboy (1969)
Dirty Harry (1971)
Bullit (1968)
I should really look into that era, that special and charismatic like ever before era...
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
C'est bon!
I was so excited that I couldn't sleep last night. I have to write down what happened everyday, or almost everyday, and somehow witness how I change and go through this moving-to-new-country process.
I AM feeling better. Really. This is such a good feeling. I was so sick of being negative and whiny about everything in paris. It is just wrong.
I have been feeling inadequate, feeling less worthy than a child on the street. But after talking to my sister and Daisy (long phone calls, thanks to Alice box, they are free), they reminded me of how I used to be as a person: positive, passionate, occasionally emotional but in general a pleasant person to be with. It is good to be reminded of that, as I have been having a very negative self-image.
Okay. Enough of the whinning. Yesterday, I was studying French for quite awhile, and then when I left the apartment to go to the language exchange meeting, I met a man with a bike, so I said 'Bonjour!' and he said 'Bonjour' back. I tried to hold the door for him so he could pass with his bike, and he smiled back with 'C'est bien!'. That shaked my world, in a good way!
For the first time, I understood something that is not english, that is not 'bonjour/merci/bonsoir'! It is a new phrase that I decoded! I feel like it opened this whole new world to me! It felt like a blessing, a welcoming breeze in this dark dark place. I can see opportunities coming, and I shall not be afraid of the challenges that is to come. This is a great chance for me to grow and learn. And I shall not be afraid.
Today is almost weekend. This Sunday will be our one month anniversay :) Yesterday, when I was talking to Daisy, I told her that sometimes I do not know what is love as you do not feel it all the time. But last night, when Johan was sleeping and I was touching his hands and listening to him breathing in and out, then I knew I am completely in love with this man. It's that simple. It's those small moments when it is dark and quiet and so you can listen to your heart. You cannot do it during the day when so much noise is around.
In the early mornings, you can hear the birds singing, and you can also hear the love in your heart.
I AM feeling better. Really. This is such a good feeling. I was so sick of being negative and whiny about everything in paris. It is just wrong.
I have been feeling inadequate, feeling less worthy than a child on the street. But after talking to my sister and Daisy (long phone calls, thanks to Alice box, they are free), they reminded me of how I used to be as a person: positive, passionate, occasionally emotional but in general a pleasant person to be with. It is good to be reminded of that, as I have been having a very negative self-image.
Okay. Enough of the whinning. Yesterday, I was studying French for quite awhile, and then when I left the apartment to go to the language exchange meeting, I met a man with a bike, so I said 'Bonjour!' and he said 'Bonjour' back. I tried to hold the door for him so he could pass with his bike, and he smiled back with 'C'est bien!'. That shaked my world, in a good way!
For the first time, I understood something that is not english, that is not 'bonjour/merci/bonsoir'! It is a new phrase that I decoded! I feel like it opened this whole new world to me! It felt like a blessing, a welcoming breeze in this dark dark place. I can see opportunities coming, and I shall not be afraid of the challenges that is to come. This is a great chance for me to grow and learn. And I shall not be afraid.
Today is almost weekend. This Sunday will be our one month anniversay :) Yesterday, when I was talking to Daisy, I told her that sometimes I do not know what is love as you do not feel it all the time. But last night, when Johan was sleeping and I was touching his hands and listening to him breathing in and out, then I knew I am completely in love with this man. It's that simple. It's those small moments when it is dark and quiet and so you can listen to your heart. You cannot do it during the day when so much noise is around.
In the early mornings, you can hear the birds singing, and you can also hear the love in your heart.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
It's been awhile...
It has been really awhile since I update my blog.
Actually, I don't think I update my blog that much anyway. No one is reading it anyway......
We have now moved to Paris. This is the 3rd week I think. It has been difficult, and I have been very down the whole time...coz it is difficult.
I seem to have lost all my hobbies: today, on the way back from EDF, I did not even want to look at clothes! I went into this department store, and I had no intension whatsoever to look at/ buy anything. It is not that I don't have the money. Oui, I am not working, but still, if i want to, I have the money. But I just don't see how I would want to buy some new clothes anymore.
One interesting thought came to me today, when I was going home. I saw these nicely dressed girls talking to each other in french and looking fine. I, on the other hand, was wearing this silly big green jacket all the time and being mute and deaf. If I was in Hong Kong, I can easily become those good looking girls in one blink.
What does this tell me? I do not know. But maybe looking good ain't that important. Maybe I don't really care about that. Maybe.
Now it is time to learn some french.
Actually, I don't think I update my blog that much anyway. No one is reading it anyway......
We have now moved to Paris. This is the 3rd week I think. It has been difficult, and I have been very down the whole time...coz it is difficult.
I seem to have lost all my hobbies: today, on the way back from EDF, I did not even want to look at clothes! I went into this department store, and I had no intension whatsoever to look at/ buy anything. It is not that I don't have the money. Oui, I am not working, but still, if i want to, I have the money. But I just don't see how I would want to buy some new clothes anymore.
One interesting thought came to me today, when I was going home. I saw these nicely dressed girls talking to each other in french and looking fine. I, on the other hand, was wearing this silly big green jacket all the time and being mute and deaf. If I was in Hong Kong, I can easily become those good looking girls in one blink.
What does this tell me? I do not know. But maybe looking good ain't that important. Maybe I don't really care about that. Maybe.
Now it is time to learn some french.
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