C'est bon!

I was so excited that I couldn't sleep last night. I have to write down what happened everyday, or almost everyday, and somehow witness how I change and go through this moving-to-new-country process.

I AM feeling better. Really. This is such a good feeling. I was so sick of being negative and whiny about everything in paris. It is just wrong.

I have been feeling inadequate, feeling less worthy than a child on the street. But after talking to my sister and Daisy (long phone calls, thanks to Alice box, they are free), they reminded me of how I used to be as a person: positive, passionate, occasionally emotional but in general a pleasant person to be with. It is good to be reminded of that, as I have been having a very negative self-image.

Okay. Enough of the whinning. Yesterday, I was studying French for quite awhile, and then when I left the apartment to go to the language exchange meeting, I met a man with a bike, so I said 'Bonjour!' and he said 'Bonjour' back. I tried to hold the door for him so he could pass with his bike, and he smiled back with 'C'est bien!'. That shaked my world, in a good way!

For the first time, I understood something that is not english, that is not 'bonjour/merci/bonsoir'! It is a new phrase that I decoded! I feel like it opened this whole new world to me! It felt like a blessing, a welcoming breeze in this dark dark place. I can see opportunities coming, and I shall not be afraid of the challenges that is to come. This is a great chance for me to grow and learn. And I shall not be afraid.

Today is almost weekend. This Sunday will be our one month anniversay :) Yesterday, when I was talking to Daisy, I told her that sometimes I do not know what is love as you do not feel it all the time. But last night, when Johan was sleeping and I was touching his hands and listening to him breathing in and out, then I knew I am completely in love with this man. It's that simple. It's those small moments when it is dark and quiet and so you can listen to your heart. You cannot do it during the day when so much noise is around.

In the early mornings, you can hear the birds singing, and you can also hear the love in your heart.